© 2019 by Grant Gordin, LMFT, MA, M.Ed                                                                                                                             grant.gordin@gmail.com  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #100615 (California) and #203433 (Texas)

  (714) 914-9865

Couples Therapy

"The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image.  Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them." - Thomas Merton

 

 

What Is It?

For most of us, our relationships are some of the most important things we have in the world. Often times, we spend most of our lives forming and "maintaining" our relationships rather than truly experiencing them for all that they are.  We watch movies and read books about the pursuit of love and passion and end the stories when the characters finally come together and profess their love for and commitment to one another.  Unfortunately, life doesn't end there, yet it so often feels like the passion does.  So what do we do?

 

In couples therapy, my ultimate goal is to challenge the idea that things like

passion, excitement, sexual attraction, play, and discovery are just supposed

to die off the longer your relationship lasts.  Together, we will build upon your

inspiring strengths and identify the various obstacles to your relationship,

such as the life stressors, painful differences, emotional sensitivities,

communication difficulties and patterns of interaction, and past experiences

you bring into your relationship.  We usually hide the parts of ourselves we

fear from our partners, afraid to reveal our vulnerabilities and pain.  It is in this

space of fear that we trap ourselves in a single version of our relationship, a

version that quickly runs its course and inevitably dies out.  Together, we can

create a new space for your relationship, one where difficult emotional

experiences like fear and shame can be a source of intimacy and connection 

rather than a source of pain.

 

Please feel free to read more about Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and

Imago Relational Therapy (IRT) to learn more about my approach.

 

Possible Issues Addressed in Couples Therapy
 
High levels of conflict in the relationship
Anxiety around coming home to your partner
Hardship scheduling one-on-one romantic time together
Painful emotional sensitivities triggered in the relationship
Difficulty emotionally connecting together
Betrayal or infidelity in your relationship
Questioning or considering separation or ending the relationshiip
Mismatched desires and needs in the relationship
Feelings of loneliness and isolation in the relationship
Communication difficulties between partners
Putting the "we" back into the relationship
Struggles in navigating the integration of one anothers' families
Repetitive and constant themes during conflicts together